Sunday, July 26, 2009

Are You the Fixer or the Fixed?

Raise your hand if you have mental checklist of the things you plan on fixing in perspective girlfriends. My exes all did. I did not. If your clothes and hair cut are good enough when we’re dating, they’re good enough when we become a couple. My exes did not agree.


As soon as we got together either my hair or clothes or both were “wrong.” My hair should be longer or shorter or curled. My clothes should be preppier or girlier (Who hooks up with a butch woman and then decides she wants her to be girlier, anyway?)

I’m not saying that I never found out things about my girl friends that I tried to change. One used racial epithets and I did issue an ultimatum over that. Another one had never voted in her life. I didn't make it an issue, but I did start taking her to rallies and we talked politics a lot. She decided on her own to start voting. She called me during the 2008 election to talk about the races and ballot initiatives and I admit that made me pretty happy.

But as far as suggestions on makeup and hairstyle, I keep my mouth shut. If I buy clothes, jewelry, or perfume as presents, I stick with what I know you like, not what I wish you liked.
[originally posted on LezBang, July 2008]

3 comments:

  1. Women marry/date men (insert women here) hopping they'll change - Men (insert some butches) marry/date women hopping they'll never change.

    That's how you'll know you have the right person though Rusty - they'll take you as you are and vise versa.

    :)

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  2. Rockets, those are words to live (flee the altar) by.

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  3. You can never "change" anyone into someone you want them to be. If you think you can you need medication... :)

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