Who Loves Boobs?

ME TOO!!! I love them a lot actually. But have you done anything to save them lately?

I don’t care if you call them boobs, breasts, tatas, hooters, knockers, the twins, the girls, tits, jugs, fun bags, lovely lady lumps, head lights, the rack, or bazoombas. The point is that we’re losing too many of them and the women (and men) they belong to.

This is my friend Carolyn West; she’s a breast cancer survivor and for the past 10 years she’s walked the Breast Cancer 3-Day to raise money to find a cure and provide support for those
fighting their own battle. She’s made the commitment again this year to walk 60 miles in 3 days (Washington, DC October 9-11). At night she’ll be sleeping in a tent.

Every year Carolyn's wife Lisa "loads up her car with plenty of goodies and has lots of hugs to share" with the walkers, too.


I did the 3-Day two years ago. I'm not doing it this year because the economy is in the toilet and in order to walk, you have to raise $2300. Take it from me, the walking is a piece of cake compared to raising that much money in any economy but this year it is horrific and Carolyn needs our help.

This is where her fundraising is as of Sunday 8/23/2009. If she doesn't get the $2300 either she has to put the rest in herself or for the first time in 10 years, she doesn't get to walk.


Please go to this link and donate. $10, $20, whatever you can afford. And then share the link so that we can get her to her Walk.

In Westies’ words: My 12th Walk in 10 Years
This adventure is truly the highlight weekend of the year for me. It is the only time when I can honestly say I am surrounded by kindness all day long. I love the togetherness that it shared and the feeling of being a part of something really important. I am looking forward to preparing for my journey, and would love to take you all along. Check back for more updates on my training, fundraising and team building.

Here’s her slideshow from last year's walk.


In closing, thanks for helping out and I have one more favor to ask. Below is the schedule for the remaining 2009 3-Day Walks. I'm not walking this year, but I am going to the San Diego Walk to cheer the walkers on. It’s an amazing experience and I encourage everyone to find the Breast Cancer 3-Day in your area and add your cheers.

Seattle September 11-13, 2009
San Francisco Bay Area October 2-4, 2009
Washington, DC October 9-11, 2009
Philadelphia October 16-18, 2009
Atlanta October 23-25, 2009
Tampa Bay October 30 - November 1, 2009
Dallas/Fort Worth November 6-8, 2009 Arizona
November 13-15, 2009
San Diego November 20-22, 2009

Everyone Deserves a Lifetime

Understanding the Smart-Lazy Continuum

“Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things” ~ Robert A. Heinlein

An important lesson I learned in the Army is that if you have a vile, hateful job that must be done— hand it off to the laziest smart person in the unit and they will figure out the fastest right way to get 'er done.

This is a careful balancing act. If you have someone who is lazy but stupid they will come up with easy solutions that turn out worse than the problem they were trying to solve (See, Bush, GW and Iraq War). On the other hand, if you have someone who is brilliant but too energetic they won’t be motivated to look for the most efficient way to do things. They might get off on taking 3 hours to do something that could be accomplished in 45 minutes.

Here’s a diagram that illustrates this concept. Remember, you need the proper balance of smart vs. lazy to achieve maximum efficiency.

It has been my delight to be the laziest smart person in every job, both military and civilian, I’ve ever held. As a lowly private on a punishment detail I was tasked with removing 7 layers of old linoleum from the barracks floor. They gave me a screwdriver and a hammer. Are you kidding, me? It took me about 10 minutes to figure out I needed a blowtorch and a putty knife. Bam! — One fully stripped floor. Today, I have macros on my computer to do everything but go to the bathroom for me.

On the other hand, inefficiency makes me crazy. This was even true when I was a kid. I tried to play Barbies with the girls (mostly because that meant playing with the girls) but I always gave up halfway through the first wardrobe change. Trying to make those little shoes stay on tiny feet made me want to kill someone. I always quit and went to read or outside to play baseball, instead.

You might be fooled into thinking that I’ve gotten over that aversion because the Rusty Patti / Gray Shade action figure has multiple outfits.


I have a confession to make. But be WARNED: Some might find these images disturbing.

Three action figures — Three outfits — One head
The perfect balance of smart to lazy.

I wish I could teach you this skill, but as Dagwood Bumstead pointed out, “You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they don't.”

[originally posted on LezBang]

Butch Overboard – Part III

The nose? Who knew?

After my first foray into the pool I told my daughter I was going to buy a nose clip because I remembered what I hate about the water (besides the possible drowning) — the water up my nose. She asked me how I breathe while swimming so I showed her.

Damn. You're supposed to exhale from the nose and inhale through the mouth? I have no idea why I thought swimming was a full on mouth-breather activity, but now I need to unlearn that habit. Kickboard at the ready.

Butch Overboard – Part II

So, I didn't drown.

No time for a full post since I'm on deadline for the comic but I wanted to note that I made it to the pool and spent about an hour in the water. The deepest part was only 5' which helped a lot — one of my biggest fears is wandering off the drop and finding myself in 8'. I will get to that point, but for now 5' is good. I was surprised by how much I remembered from the swim lessons at the YWCA my mom insisted on when I was a kid. No execution, but at least I remembered what I'm supposed to do.

Step 2: For the next two weeks I'm going to go to at least two water strength training and cardio classes a week. My hope is that concentrating on the weights, etc will take my mind off the water discomfort.

Step 3: Get a kick board and work on the actual swimming part.

And no one tried to stop me from walking into the Woman's Locker Room. Bonus.

Butch Overboard – Part I

2009 was the year I planned on getting over my fear of the water and even learning to swim. So far no luck — not even an attempt — at either one. But two weeks ago I committed to competing in the Tinsel Triathlon this December. It's the simplest way of achieving both goals. It's not a full triathlon but it's still serious cross training. The three legs include:

- 5K Run
- 12 Mile Bike
- 150 Meter Swim

You have to compete as a team so I talked my sister and daughter into joining my team. We were going to train for each leg and then the week of the event decide who’d take what. Last week we discovered that my daughter can’t run because of her knees. That charming development puts me one step closer the 150 meter swim for realz.

Learning to swim is one thing; it’s completely brain scrambling to think I might have to jump in and look like I know what I’m doing for three 50 meter laps. What about the takeoff or whatever the hell you call jumping in fast? And turning around? Am I going to have to learn to do that flip thing?

Slow down & breathe. Time for a plan.

Step 1: What the fuck am I supposed to swim in?

Over the weekend I looked for respectable butch swimwear. I figured there’d be something akin to cargo shorts with a sports bra/t-shirt combination top. EPIC FAIL. Nothing I found came close to anything I’d allow my self to be seen wearing in public.

I went home and Googled images for “butch swimwear.” No help and NOT what you think it is.

Then I looked for men’s trunks that could be worn over a one-piece tank suits. No problem with the trunks but no way am I gonna wear any of the one-piece suits that I found. Underwire? Seriously?

Today, on a hunch, I went to Big Five Sporting Goods. SCORE. I’ve been living in California for the past 25 years. How did I not know about rash guards? They’re worn while surfing. The women’s version was definitely too femmey. The "i" is dotted with a flower for cripe's sake:


So I went with this one instead and picked up a simple pair of men’s trunks. I’m going to try them out tomorrow. I’ll report back. Unless I drown.